To my dentist

Dear Emily,

Thank you so much for stopping the pain in my tooth yesterday. I had a great nights sleep.

But today, you disappointed me on my regular checkup, which just happened to fall the day after my emergency appointment with you yesterday. The last time you commented on the state of my gums and teeth, you said there was room for "improvement" so you gave me some tiddly little brushes to stick between my teeth and my gums daily. When you asked, today, if I'd used them, I had to be honest and say no, I hadn't. You looked like a school teacher whose pupil admitted to not doing their homework. I know the feeling, I was a teacher.

I was disappointed in you because, every time I asked a question (yesterday too), you replied "I'll tell you as soon as I've finished my clinical work". Well I AM your clinical work, and I want to know FIRST what you are doing to me and why. If you ever say that to me again, I will not be opening my mouth untill you answer me first. I just wanted to let you know.

I was even more disappointed, because, even though I hadn't done your homework, you loomed over me and told me my gums had improved!  I told you it was because I was vaping and not smoking, and instead of being amazed that I have not smoked for 10 months, you simply handed me more of your tiddly little homework brushes!

I could have told you where to stick them, but I took them like the small child I felt. I punished you by vaping all the way home in my car and eating Caramel Wafers simultaneously.

At 67, going on 68, I will not be bullied by a snip of a girl like you.

I will see you again in December and I expect I will make you behave better.

Yours sincerely,

Me